Cleaning For A Purpose

Those days we spent cleaning were good, because we'll be having company over tomorrow. They're all friends from your Mom's workplace, and they're all good people. It'll be a nice Sunday afternoon by the pool, just hanging out and having fun. More and more, these are the events I enjoy most, just being with friends, not doing much but enjoying one another's company.

Last night we went to a pool party at another friend's from your Mom's workplace. It was a great time. I'm not very good at parties, because I'm not too good at small talk, but I can do OK when there are people there I know. There were plenty of people there last night that I knew, so it was fun for me. Your Mom, of course, has a really good time at these events, because it's people that she really likes in a far more relaxed situation than at work.

With the place all clean, the groceries all bought, and almost all our life caught up, your Mom turned to me out at the pool today and asked if there was anything else we wanted in life beyond what we already have: great jobs, great friends and families, a great house, and you on the way. Her implication was that there's nothing else we really need, and nothing else that I can see we need, either. Ten years ago I certainly wouldn't have seen myself here, in this place, doing this work, with this woman, but I'm glad it's happened this way, because I don't think I could be happier.

We're Back

Well, it was a very good vacation, despite the fact that it rained most of the time we were in the mountains. We stayed in a great place, two or three steps up from where we used to stay. This A-frame had AC, a great deck, two bathrooms, four bedrooms, a loft, a great kitchen area, satellite TV, and. most importantly, great access to the river. It was very high, both because of the rain and because we were coming there two months earlier than we usually do. So tubing down the river was very exciting, with no places where we had to get out and port around shallow areas. The river was very fast, so we travelled a long way when we tubed.

Mike and Mig were, as usual, wonderful. Ramsey and Gertrude (their English Bulldog) didn't get along too well, but Ramsey really enjoyed chasing his ball and running near the river. Your Mom was feeling your presence, so there were some things she wasn't able to eat, but she managed to choke down enough to hold body and soul together. We had many adventures, plenty of relaxation, and a great deal of laughter, so we got what we needed.

It turns out that it rained here every day, too. So I really wouldn't have had time to cut the grass if we had been here. Today we'll clean up the place (I've already cut the grass, eventually dodging the raindrops as I trimmed, and your Mom is now vacuuming), and tomorrow I'll tackle the pool cleaning. We're back into the grind, but it's not so bad.

Vacation

Your mother now has ten days off, starting tonight, and we're headed for the mountains of North Carolina tomorrow. Just saying that name, "North Carolina," makes me feel good. When I moved to EKU it was a time of turmoil in my life, so when I came back to NC for my first visit, I remember crying when I crossed the border back into that state that was so eventful for me.

I'm looking forward to time with Mike and Mig, and time with your Mother that doesn't involve the TV or her coming home from work exhausted. When your Mom came home from work today, she was wearing this powder blue maternity dress, and it made her look really pregnant. It's the first time she really looked this big since she's been carrying you. So you're making quite an impression. I imagine you'll be getting a lot bigger, and so will your Mom. She doesn't like to have her belly rubbed by strangers, but she better get used to it, because you're pretty obvious now.

Lucky

Sometimes living right makes you lucky. After taking your Mom to work and getting someone to look at her car, it turns out it's not a fuel pump, just a fuel hose, so it will be less than half of what I thought it would cost. That's a good thing, because we have spent so much money lately that we're going to be in serious hock for a while. However, between this and the roofer being cheaper than we thought, we've done well.

We're looking forward to our vacation with Mike and Mig this weekend. We really need the break, especially your Mom. Mike and Mig and I have been doing this for years, even before I met your Mom. It's almost a week of total relaxation, with great food and great friends. The most activity we have is tubing on the river, which is hardly work.

I'm almost finished painting the guest room. I need to let another plaster patch dry, then I can sand it and paint again. I need to give the cutting in one more coat, then it will be done. I'll probably finish that tomorrow, and we leave for the mountains of North Carolina on Friday.

Upkeep Headaches

Today was a day for spending money and having things break down. We had a roofer come in to reflash the chimney and replace all the boots over the roof vents, because they were all bad. That set us back some cash. Then your Mom called from work, and it sounds like the fuel pump has gone out in her car. So we will have to shell out some serious cash for that repair tomorrow.

Owning a house runs into a lot of money. Owning cars runs into money, too. But nothing is more expensive than having a child. The latest estimate is that it takes over $440,000 to raise a child. I believe it. Now, I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty, but money has been on my mind today, so I thought I would tell you about something directly related to your life.

Don't worry; we don't have to come up with that scratch all at once. We have 18 years to do so. But both of us will be working soon (I hope), and we'll survive. Parents always find a way to do so.

Music, Too

Studies have shown that children who study music do much better in things like math and other subjects in school. Your Mother and I are both hoping that you'll be interested in music. I went to school for music for a little while, and did a lot of work in the field, from cantoring to directing the music program for a church. I was going to be a conductor, but I just didn't have the skills. Your Mother played the clarinet, so she knows what it takes to be a real musician, too.

Now, neither of us want to live our lives vicariously through you, but it would be great if you had some skills in music. Your grandmother Pellegrino was a great musician when she was younger, and your grandmother Payne also has some skill. So, if these things are hereditary, you'll get your chops from both sides.

Up in the bonus room there's a pretty nice music setup which you'll be able to use as soon as you want to. We've got a keyboard, a guitar, a recorder, and even a wooden piccolo (your great-grandfather Pellegrino's) for you.

We hope you'll find enjoyment in making music, as we did and continue to do. We don't find the time to do it as often as we'd like, but it's still a big part of our lives. Maybe it'll be a big part of yours, too.

Readers And Writers

Yesterday (or was it the day before yesterday?) I ended with a poem, which leads me naturally into this topic. I like to tell people that I get paid to read. That's a pretty sweet deal, and in a way it's true. Since I teach contemporary literature, especially poetry, as my specialty, I need to read to keep up. I certainly don't read as much as many people I know, but I probably get through about two dozen novels a year, and a great many littler books.

Your Mother used to read a lot, then kind of lost the time for it in grad school. Now she reads whne she can, and you should see her when a book catches her fancy: she drops everything and focuses intently on the life of that book. When I was in grad school, all I did was read, so it was great for me. I rewmember my last sememster as an undergrad at Duquesne: if I wanted to graduate early and do both degrees, I needed to take six english classes. All I did that semester was read, all the time. It was my best semester in school.

We're both hoping that you'll develop an appetite for reading, because that's really where it's at. It's how you learn, it's how you communicate, it's how you actually have something to say, and, in the end it's how you learn to communicate more effectively. There's only one thing that people of fortune or circumstance can't take away from you in this life, and that's what you've put in yoru head. We're hoping you make sure what you put in your head is solid and important, and will make you a better person.

Tomorrow: Music, Too

What The Doctor Says

Today we heard your heartbeat. It was pretty cool. The doctor put an amplifier to your Mom's stomach, and we could hear your heart beating very fast. Your Mom has also put on four pounds since her last visit, which this doc thinks is great.

Couple that with the fact that the morning sickness has been gone for almost a week, and today was a real banner day for us all.

We'll go in during the first week of July to get our first look at you, through the sonogram. Here's a poem by one of my favorites, Paul Muldoon, from The Prince of the Quotidian. It's untitled, but many people refer to it as "The Sonogram."

Only a few weeks ago, the sonogram of Jean's womb
resembled nothing so much
as a satellite map of Ireland:

now the image
is so well-defined we can make out not only a hand
but a thumb;

on the road to Spiddal, a woman hitching a ride;
a gladiator in his net, passing judgement on the crowd.

Your Progress

Back to something a little closer to home for you, baby. Tomorrow your Mother goes to the doctor to hear your heartbeat. That means in a little less than a month we can go see you on the ultrasound. We'll see your sex and determine your name shortly after that. The doctor may also revise your due date based on what she sees next month.

Right now you're about 3 to 4 inches tall inside your mother. She's showing you a bit as a paunch in her stomach, but I don't think many people would notice unless they knew what they were looking for. She's finally over the morning sickness and daily nausea that you were causing her, and for that we're both thankful. But most of her clothes are now uncomfortable to her because they press a little too tightly on you.

You Mom is still very tired, and most of her workdays conclude with her just lying on the couch until bedtime, which is getting earlier and earlier. Supposedly that tiredness will soon go away, as you get stronger and her body adjusts to carrying you.

All in all, your Mom is adjusting well to your presence. Things seem to be going smoothly and her food cravings aren't as bizarre as they could be. Perhaps that will come later, when she's looking for pickles and ice cream or something equally bizarre. But for now she's eating french bread pizzas and is satisfied.

Tomorrow: What The Doctor Says

More War

Well baby, here's the deal. Bush's advisors, the only ones who think in the White House, are pushing him to move against Iran now that we have a toehold in Iraq. This serves two purposes: we get our troops out of Saudi Arabia (a repressive regime that we happen to support because we believe their interests coincide with ours), and we attack a country that has supported terrorism and does actually have weapons of mass destruction. By the time you're old enough to read this, I think people will have forgotten exactly why we went into Iraq. It was to find weapons of mass destrcution, which we were unable to do. This justification was obviously just a pretext for these other realpolitik reasons.

When we move against Iran, in Bush's second term, I'll feel especially worried for your uncle Kevin. He's of Iranian descent, and may suffer some repercussions from this event. Unfortunately, with the way the Department of Injustice has been curtailing civil liberties and moving against American citizens, your uncle Kevin has something to worry about.

In the meantime, on the national front, there' still a war on terrorism on, even though it's proved ineffective at achieving its stated aims. There's a war on drugs going on, too, and that is having some interesting effects. Just this week the United States passed Russia as the country with the highest percentage of its population in jail or prison. And what are over 40% of those people in for? Drug-related offenses. The legalization of marijuana is an inevitable happening; it's just a matter of when, not if it will happen. But until then, the Department of Injustice will continue to arrest and prosecute low-level dope smokers and their ilk, studiously avoiding all the corporate criminals, such as those in this administration.

Tomorrow: Your Progress

Predictions

I'm not much of a fortune teller, but here goes. Bush will be president on your 5th birthday, and he will cede the throne to his younger brother, quite possibly the only person less intelligent than him on the national stage. That is, W. will win in 2004, hold the office to 2008, and then Jeb will run and win, being sworn in in January of 2009.

This is a bad thing for America, as it pits the rich against the poor, the haves against the have-nots, the majority against all minorities, and the religious against those who would keep it out of politics. Nevertheless, it is what America wants, because it will be what we vote for.

You see, I have little faith in the America voting public. We get the leaders we deserve, and. let's face it, we haven't had a decent human being as a leader since Jimmy Carter. I know that I am one of the few people in the world who defend this man, but I think when all the histories are written, he'll turn out to be one of the best we've had. This isn't because of his economic policies, or domestic policies, or even his foreign relations (which, by the way, made him the only US president to win the Nobel Peace Prize). No, it's because he was a good man, a man who was as honest as he could be, and a man who truly felt compassion for the poor and minorities.

But rich whites essentially own the political system right now, and they'll continue to elect whomever they choose. And as long as he benefits them, exclusively, he'll continue to have their support. It's a scary thing, voting out of self-interest, but the Republicans pander to that, and now are in command.

Tomorrow: More War

Feminizing The Profession

It's a fact: the more women involved in a field, the less the field pays. It's sad, but it's true. Once upon a time, in colonial America, teaching was pretty much a male field. Teachers were then relatively well-paid. But women began making inroads into the profession, and as they did, society's value of the field, and its desire to show how much it values a field (that it, the pay in the field), decreased.

By the early 20th century, most teachers in K-12 were women. By the late 20th century, most post-secondary teachers were women. Is there any wonder, then, that the pay scale for teachers has lagged woefully behind say, that of accountants?

The problem here, as you can see, is not just one where society undervalues a service per se. The problem also takes into account our societal double standards about gender.

When I chose teaching, or it chose me, I realized that I would be giving up my ability to make some decent cash. Oh, I knew we could survive, but I knew that I could never live up to the societal dictums about pay (you should double your age in annual salary by 40). Nevertheless, I thought I might at least have some respect to eat with my meager meals. However, this administration, Bush the Junior, has certainly made it uncool to be smart. It started with Reagan in the 90s, and continues to this day. America elected an idiot because we didn't want someone smart telling us what to do. We'd rather have homsepun wisdom, the kind that killed more people in Texas than any single governor in history, than intelligent, rational, choices.

So, for the forseeable future, we'll continue to undervalue education and educators, seeing them only as wonks able to carry out the missions imposed on them by uneven thinkers. Maybe by the time you're old enough to change things you and your generation can do so.

Tomorrow: Predictions